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When it comes across infidelity in relationships people who suffer with borderline personality disorder seem to be much more likely to cheat. If you're currently in a relationship with somebody suffering from this problem and you know that they are cheating on you or have a suspicion that they are being unfaithful you may want to look further into the factors of bpd and why having it makes them more likely to cheat.
Victims of this disorder are crippled with very strong fears and fixations of abandonment. No matter how much you love them, support them and are there for them generally they still feel an excessive amount of emptiness or a fear that you were discovering who they really are and leaving them is just around the corner. So why does this fear may come unfaithful? I am sure that there're many reasons but let me to denote a few of the major ones:
Filling the emptiness, for a borderline like a starving person they are fixated on filling the emptiness within them. This is possibly why when your relationship started they seemed like the perfect person showering you with love & admiration and perhaps even a few gifts and promises of a perfect future, you were filling their emptiness. However as time goes on their faith in your capability to continue to feel their emptiness wanes in their paranoia & fear sets in. Regardless of how excellent you're to them or how hard you try you just can not fill the void that seems to be inside of them. They begin to start flirting with other people because getting compliments from somebody new builds their sense of self-worth and vanity in the hole inside them begins to fill, this in turn results in sexual relationships outside of you. Once just simply flirting behind your back does not become sufficient they begin to seek out more and more intense relationships to fill that void. Sadly they quickly discover with their affairs and flirtations that the void has not been filled and so that the cycle begins over again.
One more main reason which may cause people with BPD to cheat is self sabotage. In their head there is a war going on and they literally feel like you are going to eventually leave them all alone abandoned and feeling worthless. Like a pilot pulling the ripcord on a burning jet they factually do something to self-destruct a relationship in a "I am getting DQ before you get me" kind of thought process. Whether it's infidelity physical or emotional abuse a general theme for borderlines is to sabotage their relationships having their world crumble around them but they feel that in some way they are in control of the demolition because they were the ones that planted the explosives.
If your partner suffers from this problem and you're having strong feelings and doubts that they're having extramarital affairs unfortunately their condition might be an indicator that your suspicions and fears are correct..
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